Well...as much as the next woman, I hate the idea of aging...I have to say that this month has been a double buster of the "you-are-getting-old-woman" voice in my head...For beginners, its my birthday month, and I have reached that year where most women choose to stay at for the rest of their life...29..well wait, before you start calling me 29, i technically have 8 more days of being 28...and believe me, I am hanging onto them like that cat hanging from the tree limb with the catchy slogan HANG IN THERE! that some genius seems to thinks relate to highschoolers...Anyways, I am off track..(Must be the age). I am honestly curious to see whether crisis' are genetic...I remember my mom telling me she had a breakdown at 30 and called her mom bawling her eyes out asking if this was how life felt...LOL..I laughed then..Now I think I may have one coming my way...Lets not forget that I had a mini breakdown two years ago when I was walking around telling my coworkers that I was about the be 30, then was so graciously saved by my good friend who informed me I was actually only going to be 28..(Thanks Brooke)...Needless to say, turning another year older brings alot of deep feelings to the surface...For one, I have started to analyze EVERYTHING in my life...If I dont get fit before I turn 30...then its all down hill...If I dont have another child before i am 30, then its all down hill...If I dont start College and take it seriously, then its all down hill...If I don't start removing my makeup EVERY night before bed and slathering my face with anti age moisturizer, then its (EVERYONE SAY IT WITH ME) ITS ALL DOWN HILL! uggg....Someone give me a martini! The second blow this month, was my TEN YEAR HIGH SCHOOL REUNION...I stressed and fretted over this event for the last 6 months...Worried for what I do not know...Then as it pulled closer, I became so overtly excited to see all my close friends...Friends whom I have never been able to replace..Friends who I may not talk to for months, or years, but we pick upright where we left off...It was so great to be around friends who were the same age, who shared the same griefs over family, husbands, kids and aging...To be able to act like we were still seniors in highschool...to break out extremely embarrassing photos and stories (thanks again Brooke) and to just laugh...I laughed so much during those few days, I swear I got a jumpstart on my fantasy six pack...The best part of this month was my trip to Montana...I got to see family...My brothers, dad and stepmom...To hang out and relax..Plus they all got to see Jaden..Which is always a plus for them...I think my favorite part of being with my family, is going to my brother Mikes property and camping out for the night...I felt like I had lost touch with my Montanan roots by traveling around so much..I had not camped in YEARS...The fresh air, the trees, the cold night air & a camp fire...I wanted Jaden to experience what Montana is about...Its not about video games, trips to Walmart where you spend money on useless items out of boredom...Montana is about hard work..rough hands, dirty work clothes (dont believe me...Look at any guys hands from Montana)...its about trucks, boots and, huge fish & deer, and FRESH AIR...To be able to see my Dad sit down around a campfire was such a treat...My whole life, my Dad has been working..always some project at hand, some chore to do..something to weld, something to fix..something to move...SO when he sat down in a chair, chatted it up around a campfire...I felt great...Leaving Montana was really bittersweet...I missed my husband, my bed, my cats...But on the plane I already missed many things about MOntana... my heart hurts that I cannot move my family TO Montana...Someday I hope to combine all the elements of my life that I love into one place...and I hope that place is Montana...
So now that I am back in Mississippi...I face my 29th Birthday in a week...My 20 year reunion, which I know will come ALL too fast, and a variety of other life milestones, but in the words of a very wise and very missed friend...Another day 6 ft above the ground sure beats the alternative! Now where is my Martini?
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Just Checking in...
I just wanted to check in...I haven't blogged in a minute because I really havent been inspired to...But I enjoy it so I wanted my followers to know that I havent forgotten about you all! Here are some random fill in questions that I borrowed from Ms. Doris! :)
1.Have you and your spouse agreed to live in separate locations (a geographical bachelor tour) knowing that the short-term inconvenience would have long-term benefits for your family? How did it work for you? Malik and I have never agreed to live in separate locations simply because it has never been something that has been an real option. We know that he could possibly have to do a one year tour unaccompanied and we have discussed that. We have also had discussions about him volunteering for tour just so that we can have a base of preference when its over with. Untimately, I think that being seperated like that as a couple and family really is hard to do. I know people that have done it, survived and gone on with their lives none the worse for wear, but I also know those whose family has fallen apart. I think that if we were seriously considering this, the long term payoffs would have to be very substantial. However, I think alot of times that i would rather him "volunteer" for a tour and we be able to make the preparations etc than being "told" that he has to do one and not feeling like we have any control over our lives.
2. What is your favorite thing about being a MilSpouse? There are so many things that I love about being a mil spouse. I would have to say that the opportunity to move and meet so many people from different walks of life is so awesome! I have made some great friends that I can never replace and I owe that to the military taking me out of my element and plopping me in a new area. I think that being a Mil Spouse builds so much character and well roundedness inside you..
3. If you could still have your spouse/significant other and your family, but take the military life out of it…would you? I dont think i would...as hard as the military can be for us, and the amount of stress that we have dealt with in the past, I wouldnt trade it...I think we would miss out on so much more positive than negative...Like so many have said, our military lifestyle really has made us who we are as parents, partners and people,
4. What have your homecoming experiences been like after a year long tour of separation? I have not ever experienced a year long tour, but simply short TDYs and 6 month deployments. Its odd at first because you are excited to see each other, but you have to readjust alot of things. I think the military does a lot to help families cope with reintegrating members and their families. I know that its hard when you as the spouse have been taking care of everything and then all the sudden your hubby is back and your whole routine is messed up....I know the thing in particular that drove my husband nuts when he came back was that he forgot where things were located in the house like the scissors etc...
5. If you have a child(ren) why you chose their name(s)? If not, why you would name your child something? We have one son named Jaden...I actually chose the name because we could not agree on anything then in class one day a fellow student of mine said her sister had her baby and named him Jaden and I loved it...So thats what we went with...Now everybody and their sisters babies are named Jaden,Hayden,Caiden etc....But at least Jaden is spelled a bit differently than the norm JAYDEN....His middle name comes from a grandfather..My son who passed at 3 days of age was named Maximus...I love that name because to me it symbolizes strength...Thats a name that you have to live up to..You cant be a Maximus and be weak or of poor character. He also took Edward as his middle name from a grandfather.
1.Have you and your spouse agreed to live in separate locations (a geographical bachelor tour) knowing that the short-term inconvenience would have long-term benefits for your family? How did it work for you? Malik and I have never agreed to live in separate locations simply because it has never been something that has been an real option. We know that he could possibly have to do a one year tour unaccompanied and we have discussed that. We have also had discussions about him volunteering for tour just so that we can have a base of preference when its over with. Untimately, I think that being seperated like that as a couple and family really is hard to do. I know people that have done it, survived and gone on with their lives none the worse for wear, but I also know those whose family has fallen apart. I think that if we were seriously considering this, the long term payoffs would have to be very substantial. However, I think alot of times that i would rather him "volunteer" for a tour and we be able to make the preparations etc than being "told" that he has to do one and not feeling like we have any control over our lives.
2. What is your favorite thing about being a MilSpouse? There are so many things that I love about being a mil spouse. I would have to say that the opportunity to move and meet so many people from different walks of life is so awesome! I have made some great friends that I can never replace and I owe that to the military taking me out of my element and plopping me in a new area. I think that being a Mil Spouse builds so much character and well roundedness inside you..
3. If you could still have your spouse/significant other and your family, but take the military life out of it…would you? I dont think i would...as hard as the military can be for us, and the amount of stress that we have dealt with in the past, I wouldnt trade it...I think we would miss out on so much more positive than negative...Like so many have said, our military lifestyle really has made us who we are as parents, partners and people,
4. What have your homecoming experiences been like after a year long tour of separation? I have not ever experienced a year long tour, but simply short TDYs and 6 month deployments. Its odd at first because you are excited to see each other, but you have to readjust alot of things. I think the military does a lot to help families cope with reintegrating members and their families. I know that its hard when you as the spouse have been taking care of everything and then all the sudden your hubby is back and your whole routine is messed up....I know the thing in particular that drove my husband nuts when he came back was that he forgot where things were located in the house like the scissors etc...
5. If you have a child(ren) why you chose their name(s)? If not, why you would name your child something? We have one son named Jaden...I actually chose the name because we could not agree on anything then in class one day a fellow student of mine said her sister had her baby and named him Jaden and I loved it...So thats what we went with...Now everybody and their sisters babies are named Jaden,Hayden,Caiden etc....But at least Jaden is spelled a bit differently than the norm JAYDEN....His middle name comes from a grandfather..My son who passed at 3 days of age was named Maximus...I love that name because to me it symbolizes strength...Thats a name that you have to live up to..You cant be a Maximus and be weak or of poor character. He also took Edward as his middle name from a grandfather.
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